I often hear in the field of Psychology that ‘we need to be careful about re-traumatisation.’
Individuals whom I help in my practice and beyond often share that they had numerous episodes of relived traumatic tension. Often had reactionary fear responses and the worst thing that they had gone through was the ‘not knowing ‘ what to do when they were right in the happening in the mental and somatic experiencing.
The truth is an object/ stimulus can remind you of the traumatic pain points that can reawake the narrative at a mental, emotional and biological level.
There are many things you can learn so you can unlearn the old ‘defensive’ mechanism, especially if you know it formed a pattern and it makes you a follower (following through the outbursts, when you cannot breathe or when you take and absorb somebody else’s outbursts etc. )
You can ‘lead life luminously’. I have chosen this motto as I have been learning to step up for myself and others to lead my life, which is more aligned with my purpose and values. This is your responsibility too, you are responsible for your own purpose, power and principles as long as you are in the knowing (in the consciousness) of what these are, you can live a fulfilled life, and you then can lead life luminously.
I also often hear that people are afraid of reliving their traumas so it stops them to seek professional help. The truth is that at the subconscious level you do remember the internal narrative and part of or all of it is suppressed. You must have heard the phrases of
‘Forget about it and move on’ or ‘Head down and carry on’ or ‘Grow up, stop being childish’
My questions would be
What is it that you or they don’t want you to remember or you and they are reminded of?
How can you move on if you don’t know what it is that you need to move away from?
What is it that you don’t want to see as you head down and carry on working and living in an externally and/or internally toxic environment?
How can a hurt (inner) child grow up without resolving the pain?
With these phrases, we need to be more careful than with anything else, as these mistakenly normalised words unhelpfully prompt individuals to suppress psychological, emotional and somatic tension. And at the subconscious level, you are then reliving trauma sometimes it comes to your awareness and when it does you might suppress it even more and/ or become reactionary emotionally, biologically etc.
What we need to understand is that part of the healing/ discovery process does not happen all at once, you will discover pain points step by step and you will learn to resolve them. Every time something shows up you will be lightened up not shackled down. The newly learnt insights and action-taking will give you breakthroughs and clarification.
And another essential aspect we must understand about living with, reliving and relieving trauma is that there is beyond trauma. Unlearning the unsupportive reactionary mechanism means that you are learning to be seen, soothed, safe and secure throughout the healing process.
You will learn to belong to yourself and create a sanctuary, a safe space you can turn to.
Some of my clients said, ‘I want to be ok with me and I want to be on my side…’
Next time you are looking up a retreat, such a good word, remember what is a retreat. It is a reminder to ‘be your own sanctuary and your own safe space’. This is what you have beyond trauma, a bit like when you are on your walk in nature and you discover an inspiring spot that puts you in a feeling of awe.
Reliving and relieving trauma is not it, it is part of the information energy flow that you can learn to navigate better in a safe space with a professional. You are deserving!
Wish you well on your healing journey