None of us is free from loss. The more I think about it the more I think that this is the essence of having a human experience or better say having a spiritual experience in a human body.
The essential meaning is to find our way back to the natural self by learning the new and unlearning the old mechanism as we grow. Eventually, through the losses, we find the way back to the natural self and get inter- and intra-connected with the universal sense of belonging.
Loss and the process of grief
When I look at you – it reminds me of… and when you say that – it reminds me of…There are reminders in everyone and everything and sometimes, if not often it can prompt energy change in one’s body.
There are ways to unearth losses and find the truth about the self. The brain makes sense of the relational situation and makes a view of the self. So when you reflect on your losses or grief, do not suppress the emotion. Allow sadness to surface one way to hold and observe emotions is by setting an intention for and scheduling it.
You can journal your thoughts as they come and/ or meditate and allow thoughts, emotions and bodily reactions to show up. There are many tools and exercises you can practice. Please note, that exercises are better learned in a safe space with a coach or therapist as information that comes up during the sessions can be explored right on the spot and help you process the clean pain.
There is no wrong or right way to grieve and deal with losses and…
Having said this, it must be noted that with accumulated losses and unprocessed grief people are likely to cling to hurt, and dirty pain at the subconscious level. When you are ready you will start the healing (clean pain) process. You will want things to be different from what you are in and where you are at.
Things cannot be logical and constructive all the time. However, while you are going through the emotions things can ground you. And those things are logical and factual, for example, what your traditional 5 senses tell you. That moment can ground you and can bring you back to the present from the past.
My loss and processed grief
I have been working on my losses and grief. And when I say loss I mean, people and things that I deserved but didn’t have. For example the lack of loving parents’ attention, the lack of understanding in a relationship, and the lack of comfort in the wintry night blizzard. How do I process it when it shows up?
I notice it in my body, sometimes I get stiff (frozen) and I practice the breathing exercises that I learnt and teach. Sometimes I have to scream and channel this energy through bioenergetic exercises. No one needs to be exposed to my reactionary energy and my reactionary energy deserves to show up and get released in a safe space so I can feel safe. I journal and find it very helpful it allows me not to cling to hurt so strongly. I am noticing that the pain is less intense every time I do it.
This is a snippet of my own experience. I have a coach, supervisor and therapist to work with. Why? – Because the relational life events will participate in forming my fixed mindset and with that my fixed reality. My life purpose is to grow consciously, so when I am about to depart there will be no regret, sorrow and sorry towards myself. I want to reach the full circle of my life journey. From my natural self to my consciously expressed natural self. This is worth remembering.
I wish you well on your healing journey